The Leader of the Band

Interesting - on the 16th anniversary of Mom's death, it's Dad who filling my thoughts.  She'd like that!

Dad & I had a lot in common, although it would be years for that to finally dawn on me, decades after his way-too-early death at 63.  He had the focus & will to start & build a business, no small accomplishment, but truly amazing to have a successful lumber & millwork company in an era of big & bigger lumber purveyors like today's Lowe's & Home Depot.

Lockhart Lumber survived because Dad understood his weaknesses & knew his strengths.  He couldn't compete on price, so it had to be on service.  That was also why the business could not survive his death, not even if Mike had stayed on with him instead of moving to Australia - Dad's business was such a thorough reflection of the man, no one else could have kept it going.

A couple years back, I consciously made Dad a partner in my own life endeavors.  Doesn't matter that he's been gone 44 years, died while I was still in college, aiming to be an elementary school teacher.  His spirit is with me.   Back when he was alive, we would have roared at the thought we were two fo a kind, but it turns out to be the case.  Probably why we never got close in this life.  Too similar.

And it explains why having Mom as my surviving parent didn't do me a whole lot of good in nurturing my own life work.  She just didn't get the ins & outs & round abouts of career building.  Much as my brothers might scoff, Dad did.  His business would have gone under if he hadn't.  It's just that what Dad wanted for & from Lockhart Lumber wasn't something Peter or Mike could fathom.

Last night's All Ages, All Stages blog's night capper was a clip of Dan Fogelberg singing The Leader of the Band.  That song, released close to a decade after Dad's death, always reminded me of him although could never figure out why - he'd been the leader of Mim's band, not mine.  To his dying day, I never ever had his support in any disagreements with Mim.  I like to think it's because he knew I could stand on my own two feet.

Will be holding Dad very close to me over the coming year, as I strike out on making someTHING of all that I've learned over the past 65 years,  Standing on my own two feet to PRODUCE something of lasting value from all that's been.  Stepping out of my wishes hopes dreams into my power.

Stuff & Nonsense will be my go-to blog for writing connected to what's happened over the past seven years - since working with Anne Davis Hyatt & her family - and particularly the past two months, especially the past ten days.

Am glad that I was aware of & appreciated that the past three years have been special, delightful yet - if they were to be of any use - transitory.  I checked out many possibilities to find MY place, the niche that beckons me to draw it out from the possible to the actual, the here & now, but now I have the makings of my tribe, know what I want to do, which means that everything that doesn't lead toward that is something to skip. Everyone who wanders is not lost, but the wanderer who doesn't seek a place to belong is wasting her time.  Playfulness is my place - make it so.

Am partnered with Dad, gone these 44 years, and with Mike - just as distant from me as our father, but another role model for establishing & maintaining, developing & growing a successful business.  We aren't in touch, but if I can feel connection to Dad's spirit, can feel it with Mike.  Hey - can think of what unfolds as a family business, especially with John by my side as my "He made it all possible!" life & work partner.

Gotta go - off on my morning walk, delayed until the sun came up so I can set out a host of brightly colored spinners to cheer on the runners who will be heading down Pheasant Run later today on the annual Heroes Run, supporting the Travis Manion Foundation.  Ta ta & tootle-loooooo!

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